Friday, May 27, 2011
Solving Global Problems
I must apologise to my readers as it has been some time since my last blog post. The reason for this is that I have been thinking of ways to solve all the worlds problems. After careful deliberation I believe that it all begins with war.
It seems that all the wars these days are in hot, arid, desert countries. Not really surprising, I get cranky in the heat too. So the first thing we need to do is replace all the guns with water pistols. Everybody has fun in a water fight when it is hot.
Imagine all the soldiers running around squirting each other, throwing water balloon grenades. Planes and helicopters flying overhead waterbombing everyone like they do to forrest fires. We could have the best fun at World War Three. Everyone would want to go. Nobody gets killed and everyone goes home smiling.
However there are other advantages to this. All that water would turn what is now a desert into a water filled, muddy oasis. The poor people of that country would have lots of land to grow crops to feed themselves and boost their economy. A perfect solution for a struggling third world country.
The second world countries don’t miss out either. They are our number one producers of plastic toys. The demand for water weapons would boost their economy as well.
Now I know there are going to be some die hards that maintain that it just isn’t war without pain and suffering. Well just for you we can have wars at the arctic and antarctic. All the water would freeze replenishing the melting polar ice caps.
This is such a genius solution to a whole plethora of problems that I would not be surprised to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. (hint hint)