Friday, April 29, 2011

Money For Nothing

I was in a band once. On a cold winters day Ben, Anthony, Hughie and myself formed Chocolate Sneeze. (named after an unfortunate incident involving a block of Cadbury Dairy Milk and a dose of the flu)

Our studio was Bens games room, because it had space we could use undisturbed and a record player. Hughie played a cricket bat, Anthony had an assortment of empty plant pots and chopsticks for drums, I ripped it up on lead tennis racket and Ben (being the oldest at 11 and it was his house) had the other tennis racket and lead vocals.

With our favourite records turned up to the point were the speakers distorted we thrashed it out in a cacophony of high pitched childish voices and plant pot banging. We were rock n roll gods. This was in the days when Mtv actually played music videos. We were going to be mega stars. We were going to get our money for nothing and our chicks for free.

Like most bands things didn’t work out. After 4 hours of music stardom we ended up splitting due to artistic differences. We argued over Def Leppard vs Motley Crue as an opener for at least 10 minutes. Also it was time to go home for dinner.

It may be a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll but it is a quick ride back down the hill on your bmx. I flew down at breakneck speed as the last of the suns glow faded from the sky. The cold air pierced my flesh and whipped my hair as my tyres fountained up rooster tails of cold water behind me. I had an idiotic grin on my face and something else I can never have again - The innocence of youth.


  1. That's a very sweet image of childhood you have painted. I like it!

  2. Haha great story, sounds a bit like my first band with my brother and a friend, we called it "Rubber Mug" hmmmm what were we thinking LOL :D

  3. I have a similar story. A girl band except our success lasted a few months and we were equipped with more sophisticated instruments... I was on pot plants and REAL drum sticks and my sister had a one stringed guitar and sang with a spoon.

    We were exactly like the Veronicas only without any talent whatsoever :)

  4. I am now imagining the worst battle of the bands ever. Lol. At least I am not alone in my delusions of superstardom.


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