Planning For New Years Eve

New Years Eve is fast approaching. The one night of the year we have massive expectations about. It is also the night where those expectations will fall flat. Lets face it, New Years is always a let down. It never lives up to the hype and things never go right.

I decided that this year, rather than making grandiose plans that are bound to end in tragedy, I would look at what has gone wrong in the past. By making a list of things not to do this time around there is a much better chance of a great night.

This New Years Eve I will not:
- Spend a hour and a half chatting up a brunette, only to realise that she was not born a woman, much to my mates amusment.
- Relieve myself in a handy bush, only to realise that it is a potplant in front of a busy restaurant.
- Have a running race with the police after the aforementioned potplant incident.
- Spend the countdown hiding behind a brick wall in someones front garden after winning aforementioned running race.
- Start drinking heavily at midday, only to pass out out 11:30pm and miss the countdown.
- Drunkenly think I am skateboarding legend Tony Alva and spend New Years in the emergency room.
- Prank text my ex at 3 am.
- Go to a rodeo wearing a hawaiian shirt.
- Drive around the city while sober, drinking out of beer bottles that have been washed and filled with Coca Cola to stir up the police. (The police didn't find this very funny)
- On the way to a party, come across an area where the police have blocked the road and are breathalysing everyone, then going through it 17 times. (The police didn't find this funny either. They really have no sense of humour.)
- Put washing powder in the city's fountain. Then stand around watching it and get caught.
- Wake up in an unknown park with a massive hangover, no money or phone and wearing someone elses clothes.