Monday, January 24, 2011

I Am Officially 33

Yes today is my birthday. Having an IQ equivalant to a goldfish I naively believed that I was going to have a good day. For once I got to start work late which meaning the chance to sleep in. Of course my phone woke me up at a stupidly early hour, spewing congratulations and well wishes from friends and family.

What is really annoying about this is the fact that I just don’t understand it. What are you congratulating me for ? The fact that I was born ? I hate to burst your bubble but I really had nothing to do with it. Go congratulate my parents for that achievement. If you want to congratulate me, make it for something that I have actually done.

Perhaps you are congratulating me on the fact that I have survived this long. Are you telling me that I am so stupid that you assumed that I would be dead by now. Admit it, you thought that I would have decapitated myself on a ceiling fan, licked an electrical outlet or just plain forgot to keep breathing by now didn’t you.

Eventually I gave up on any lingering thoughts of staying in bed, got up and booted up the computer. Unsuprisingly my facebook was plastered with seemingly insincere well wishes. Even a forum I frequent realised that it was my birthday this year and started a thread just for it. I suppose it was too much to ask of the internet gods to take the site down for a couple of days like they did last year.

Seriously, what is the point of this odd custom, the birthday ? I just don’t get it. The only purpose for the whole scenario, that I can tell, is to boost the economy by forcing people to spend money on cards and stupid novelty gifts.

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