Suicidal ? Join The Navy

There is a disturbing trend happening in the U.S.A. navy. Every week a person employed by this great institution is murdered. I know this because I watch Gibbs, DiNozzo, Ziva and the rest of the NCIS team solve the crime. Amazingly they do it in just half an hour. I don’t know how much these people get paid but it should be a lot.

What I find truly extraordinary is the almost total disinterest from the media. Even more so when you realise that there is a NCIS in Los Angeles. You may have seen them as well. It is the stereotypical line up. There is the hard white guy with a heart of gold, the black guy, small appearances from the good looking woman and the token geek. Bizarrely they are led by a female hobbit. Not too sure what that is about, comic relief perhaps.

Back to the point. Los Angeles. I can only assume from this that every state has a NCIS. That means every week, in every state, a naval employee is murdered. It is amazing that they have any left. I am not too sure what the average lifespan of a naval officer is, but when you add in wars over fictional weapons of mass destruction, it can’t be very long.

This leads me to the question, why would anyone join the navy ? After much thought I can only think of two. Firstly the navy would look like a fantastic option if you were suicidal but didn’t have the guts to go through with it. However, having a force of depressed chickens really wouldn’t make the population feel safe. Perhaps that is why the media tends to shy away from the subject, they don’t want to start a mass panic. Very noble of them.

The only other reason for somebody to join the navy is to rise through the ranks and get a job at NCIS so they can meet Abby. That is certainly understandable. I would love to meet her. (massive crush over here if you can’t tell)

Personally I think it would be a lot easier to become a tattoo artist, paint your fingernails black and hang out in goth bars. Just stay away from the ones where navy personel hang out. They could be very dangerous.